exposing my demons

All my Little demons, life long tag alongs
whose wretched wickedness damn my inner woods
all my little demons, bring me much sorrow
they torment my thoughts, cry me to sleep.

Think happy thoughts so we can fly again
but these demons only want my light to dim
how to fight when they weigh you down
like a merry go round going on in my head,

over and over again.

they each have a name, lets make it a game
expose to dissipate , with all mi love mate
no longer will i let you have power over me
my life, my body, my rules, it's my story!

" Im not good enough" is persistent and tricky
s/he has a habit of telling me that im not good enough
like im made of dirt, that im not worthy, full of self-doubt.
well this little light of mine i'm gonna let it shine !
and this little shadow has now gone bye bye

this feedback loop of instant gratification,
it's my addiction, a dosage a happiness ,coping mechanism
i lose grip of my rope, now i choose to unfold
the truth of my reality, and what is best for me.

will i fall back into the slippery slope of "just this one time"
what resists persists i've been told

"Suicide" is an ongoing horror movie
s/he shows me clips of all the ways i could end my life
like hanging, drowning, cutting, overdosing
So i remember all the people who love me
& how my funeral would say " She had so much potential"
I wont go till i make my mark, a legacy i will to forge.


I'm in constant rehabilitation of the habits who've caused my demise.
the pesticides, sugar, cafeine, lactose, meat, tobacco, TV, wifi
the moment i release these i gain control over new senses. well not new in fact
they've been there all along, simply silenced by the over stimuli, or numbing effects of my environment and consumption habits.

what decisions will i make, to take a chance on life? take a chance on me, does that mean i need to change? or address what needs to happen in order to make the leap from despair to over-flowing divine nectar of PassionFruit- Faerie

what is full of life feeds me , and life will i feed back to her.

expose those dark places and phases, and draw your fine line in white. this is your tight rope please. if you fall back into the dark spot, hang on and get back on your feet.